Divorced Parents and Weddings

South Wales Wedding Photographer

There are many things that go into creating a great wedding. For some, it is about who is present at our wedding. Big or small, as long as our loved ones are present, it is perfect. One common dilemma is when the parents are divorced and aren’t on good terms. You would like to have them both present at your nuptials but they always fight. If you invite one and not the other, you know someone’s feelings will get hurt; but inviting them both can make for an uncomfortable wedding.
Sometimes, you will have to tell them to just once, set aside their differences. Ask them if they want to be a part of your wedding and ask them exactly how involved they want to be. Usually they will volunteer to be civil and can tell you that they will be as polite as they can be as long as their former spouse doesn’t provoke them - that’s pretty fair. Just enlist your entourage or other family members’ help to keep the peace and the space between your parents if you must.
They might tell you that they will go but just as guests. That means only one of your parents will have the spotlight on them and the other will just mingle. That can be a good thing.
If they can barely stand each other but are willing to set it aside to see you married, simply ask them to walk you down the aisle (assuming you will use the style where both parents walk with you). They need not talk. It is their blessing for you and you can seat them separately at the wedding and reception.
Now, where to seat them? In the normal arrangement, the men and the women are on separate sides of the table so that really isn’t a problem. They can both be at the main table with you. They’ll be far enough apart that they can pretend the other isn’t there.
If they can’t stand to be at the same table, go ahead and seat them at seat them at separate tables. This will mean your table arrangement will be different. It will be better if you have a bridal table for two and spread out your wedding party. You can let a parent preside over different tables. This is especially ideal if your parent has remarried and has brought your stepmother or stepfather along.
Make sure to brief your wedding professionals about your parental situation. It will make for a very awkward moment if the photographer keeps calling for the parents of the bride to pose for a picture that calls for them to hug each other when they can barely stand to be in the same room. Have mercy and make sure that your parents will be spared that. There are other ways that they can pose with you.
Honour and respect them both at your wedding. Give them both the credit they deserve for their efforts to be part of your wedding, no matter how small. If it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be there. No matter what faults or problems they have, they somehow managed to produce a wonderful person in you and they are glad to see you find happiness.